Review: The Super Bowl 2008 (Sans Game)

Review: The Super Bowl 2008 (Sans Game)

Super Bowl Sunday 2008 has come to a close, and football fans everywhere are feeling the comedown of having no reason to live for the next six months. Seriously, though, who cares about the game? To bloggers, the important thing wasn’t the major upset for the winningest team in 36 years (I still don’t know why the entire New England region gets its own team), but the suckiness of the commercials and Tom Petty. Patriots fans must really be feeling like shit right now—even the commercials let them down.

I am struck by this. We’re talking about a) Commercials and b) Tom Petty. Our society has truly come to a strange crossroads when we expect anything other than passive, low-level enjoyment from either of these enterprises.

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Please Preserve Ledger’s Dignity.

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In case I ever become famous and die under mysterious and/or sketchy circumstances, I have already instructed several close friends to release a statement to the press informing them officially that I suffered a heart attack while sodomizing an underage male prostitute. I’m not gay, nor do I have an affinity for sodomy with minors, nor do I have a weak heart; the idea is to horrify people so totally that they cut out any idle, empty, and meaningless speculation about my (hypothetical) death.

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