American and Iraqi citizens are abuzz over news that Iraqi journalist Muntather Zaidi threw his shoes at President Bush during a news conference on Sunday.

Zaidi, a Cairo-based TV corespondent, shouted insults as he hurled the shoes: ‘This is a gift from the Iraqis. This is the farewell kiss, you dog…This is from the widows, the orphans and those who were killed in Iraq.’

Said one Iraqi, ‘Our shoes are especially dangerous when used as projectiles because they’re often made of salvaged metal from unexploded munitions…Our people can’t afford lightweight sneakers.’ Early Monday, Reebok-Iraq announced plans to hire Zaidi as a spokesman for the struggling Iraqi subsidiary’s ‘Just Throw It’ campaign.

Meanwhile, journalists in America speculated that perhaps Zaidi had leaked the identity of the new White House dog. On his show, TV pundit Glenn Beck commented, ‘Is it mere coincidence that [Barack] Obama has been talking about getting a dog, and George W. Bush has just been identified as one? I think not. I am proud to announce that Bush will get to spend four more years in the White House.’

Although Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri Maliki looked horrified during the event, he later acknowledged that a national holiday in Zaidi’s honor might be just the thing to ‘boost morale’ in the country where tens of thousands of civilians have been killed. ‘Some whose feet or legs have been blown off might view this as a particularly comforting gesture on the part of the Iraqi government. If nothing else, it’s inspired them to get some use out of all their old shoes.’

Millions of people worldwide likely wish things hadn’t turned out the way they did in Iraq. With a margin of what appears to be split seconds, Bush narrowly avoided delighting millions of YouTube viewers by finally having a foot in his mouth other than his own. Said Buttballs12, a commenter on YouTube, ‘Bush’s impressive ducking and weaving recall his draft-dodging days.’

Finally, a Republican spokesperson, who wished to be called Arthur Patron-Swizzlestickâ„¢, said of the Iraqi shoe-slinging reporter, “It seems that he’ll have some serious sole-searching to do…Because he threw his shoes…He’ll need to find them…Nothing?”